Howsabout this ?
Three security guards were required to wrestle to the floor a hysteric concert fan after they gave in to their urge to take a sweet mouthful of Beyonce's hair at a recent gig. Beyonce, who had jumped into the audience for some mild groping, was apparently unfazed and continued to mouth the words to her song as her lustrous and completely natural locks were disentangled from the fans orthodontic appliance .
The fan - who has elected to remained anonymous on the advice of their dentist - was later charged with conspiracy to eat the hairdo of a celebrity and sentenced to 36 hours community service.
However, further investigation has revealed that this is not an isolated incident. The individual concerned has been implicated in a number of other celebrity hair-molestation incidents : Boris Johnson's wig-napping, Adele's extension-extortion and the so-called 'charity shave' of Jessie J's cranium. A number of Restraining Orders have been issued and it is rumoured that Elton John has threatened to shoot on sight.
It is understood that the accused is currently undergoing a regime of therapy to try and cure these tendencies. The fan has expressed regrets about the current incident, but was able to quip -
"When my therapist finds out, there'll be hell toupee"