The world of European football was in shock last night as little known Spanish outfit Real Madrid pulled off a stunning 6-0 victory against English giants AFC Bournemouth. Bournemouth, third division South Cup winners as recently as 1945/6 were completely outclassed by the Spanish part timers. Scorer of a brace and full time bin man Cristiano Ronaldo said that the result was "the highlight of my career" and that "I could never have dreamt of such highs when I started playing as a boy in Maderia. Midfielder Luka Modric, a builder by profession, was clearly over the moon at the result and had to be restrained by stewards from diving into the crowd at the final whistle.
The result clearly meant so much to an ecstatic Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti who had tears in his eyes at the post game press conference. Ancelotti, who also doubles as kitman and tealady broke down with emotion, struggling to convey his delight saying that "this is our first time in Europe, we were really just hoping to avoid getting thrashed and maybe score a goal. To actually win... well I have no words for it. Our tactics of playing the Wimbledon style long ball over the top worked like a dream. I would especially like to thank the three Real Madrid fans who made the effort to come all this way to support us. Now when I am at home washing the kit after games I have this result to think of. Nobody can take this away from us, not even Sepp Blatter."
Bournemouth manager Eddie Howe managed to be gracious in defeat despite the shock of losing to such an unfancied side. "We like to help these developing nations if we can. Next week we are flying to a place called Barcelona to play the local side there. Their pitch is at a new campsite on the edge of town and they hope to buy some new nets for the goals with the proceeds from the game. We had a rummage around our kit room and found some old kit we are going to take over for them. Our shirts are a bit like AC Milan's so I hope they don't mind imitating such a great side. There is definitely some talent in Spain, if they could get a national side together they might be quite handy."
Football is Spain's third sport behind bull running and sleeping at lunchtime. It is believed that as many as 250 people play regularly.