Dad of three Anthony Thomas has spoken of his anger today after he discovered his son, Michael, who he admits isn’t the sharpest spoon in the fridge, came an embarrassing 1,954,343rd in the UK’s new primary school pupil ranking system.
The results, that were released today, saw the eleven-year-old pupil from Chester plummet from ‘class dummy’ to ‘UK dumb ass’ in just minutes. Mr. Owen, his teacher, was quick to deny any link between his teaching techniques and Michael’s crap position in the new league table.
Mr. Owen said: 'If this were the FIFA football ranking table, Michael would be sitting somewhere in between the Faroe Islands and Djibouti. Now I’m being labeled a poor teacher. What am I meant to do: He’s literally crap at everything’.