International Rescue, the emergency service based on Tracey Island, is now in desperate need of rescue itself, the Tracey family revealed today. And its saviour could be the towaway service Green Flag.
Geoff Tracey (96), head of the Tracey dynasty, commented, “While basic health and safety training has reduced the demand for our services, the economics of providing a global emergency rescue service don’t add up when your main revenue streams are dress-up outfits and novelty lucky bags.”
But age is also a factor. Scott, who has mild Parkinsons, finds getting in and out of Thunderbird One a little too much effort these days. Virgil, who also has mild Parkinson’s, doesn’t like to drive Thunderbird Two at night.
Brains, who hasn’t got Parkinsons but just pretends, is finding it tough to keep the legendary machines in working order. “There’s no cash left to mend anything that gets broke around here. The swimming pool is always leaking into Thunderbird Three’s electrics. FAB 1 is stuck in reverse. There’s a stone chip in Thunderbird Five’s windscreen. Sooner or later it will develop into a crack, but Autoglass won’t deliver into orbit, despite their extravagant claims.”
Chauffeur and ex-convict Parker (160) added, “Yes but look on the bright side. At least we’re not pestered any more by that swine the Hood. So he finally succeeded in stealing all the plans to our machines. Big deal. We’d already published the cutaway drawings in the Thunderbirds annual, had he bothered to look.
So what does the future hold for the ailing emergency service?
Geoff again. “We’ve had an offer from Green Flag. It’s not even enough to pay for the repairs. They’re just after the brand. But I might have to accept. Brains has bought a Transit van with a sunroof, and he’s doing a brillinat job, working on a prototype for the entry slide.