Iran asks Boris Johnson to intervene
With the Iranian regime at an inflection point, the Ayatollah has reached out to former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson for help. 'We are concerned that the insurgency will succeed, so we need to destabilise it before it is too late,' said a spokesman for the regime. 'The last time Boris intervened he resulted in the arrest of a British subject who was on the cusp of being allowed home. That's the kind of incompetence we require. We are begging Mr Johnson to interfere
Entire Conservative Party defects to Reform
A spokesman for Reform said: 'This confirms we are a clear alternative to the Conservative Party. By having exactly the same policies and the same personnel.' This has left some voters confused: 'So, in the next election I can vote out my sitting MP, by voting in my current MP but with a different rosette?'Â The founding members of Reform are feeling somewhat outnumbered by the flood of Tories, that many are considering defecting to the Conservative Party - which is now just
NATO to rebrand as Trump NATO
‘NATO is a self-defence organisation and right now NATO needs to defend itself’, a spokesman told NewsBiscuit. ‘As well as rebranding NATO we will award Donald Trump the NATO Medal for Bravery and give him a 5% skim off the top. All nations will need to increase their budgets a little, but at least we won’t be showing Putin our naked arses’. A spokesman for the White House said that 5% was ‘an insult’ and that he knew where NATO’s wife and children lived, so if NATO didn’t fa
Denmark to get custody of Greenland at the weekends
In an attempt to calm the world order, the United States has announced that it will let Denmark have full visitation rights at the weekend, as long as it returns Greenland to the US while it is still light. 'No keeping Greenland out after dark,' insisted a US spokesman, noting that Greenland is dark essentially October to March. 'We will exploit Greenland for its mineral wealth Monday to Friday, then return it for Denmark to clean it up at weekends,' the spokesman added. Pre
Trump declares war on terrier groups across the world
'They tell me there are a bunch of terreierists over there in Britain, in Yorkshire and Staffordshire and Airedale, so we'll be sending in Delta Force to take over those places.
BBC still hasn't reported on BBC not reporting anything
Social media is on fire with allegations that the BBC hasn't reported anything about the crisis in Iran, despite running several separate news articles every day since the demonstrations started.Â
'I'll hold your coat' Starmer tells bully boy Trump
'The UK's official foreign policy is for the PM to hold President Trump's coat and grin while he beats up all the smaller nations in the playground,'
US Military prepared for 'lush, verdant fields' of Greenland
US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth today assured Americans that the military was ready and equipped to capture the rolling green hills of Greenland.
Trump eager to take over running of Venezuela's dictatorship
'President Trump is really looking forward to misgoverning another country,' said a spokes-anschluss for the White House.
Trump finds Fentanyl in Greenland
Much to the concern of Denmark, the US is set to designate Greenland as a rogue terrorist state, which is one threat level below 'country that has oil'.
