Amid continued scandal over the enhanced interrogation techniques employed by the former US administration under George Bush and the information extracted using such procedures, former members of the Bush administration, in a show of unity and bravado, agreed to be water-boarded to demonstrate both that the technique does not constitute torture and also, that they would not be able to be made to admit to anything that was not true.
The test got off to a very poor start with George Bush being first up to the board. To the astonishment of witnesses, Bush was seen writing a confession that he was responsible for the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 even as the watering can was filling up. Donald Rumsfeld was next up and was clearly determined to put on a better showing. Unfortunately as the first flush of water went up his nose his hand jerked up rapidly in submission. His immediate confession confirmed that he was an Al-Qaeda agent and the half brother of Osama bin Laden. The final humiliation of the publicity stunt was the showing of Dick Cheney. Dick started out well and held his breath for a good 10 seconds, but after that it was game over with the written admission that he was in fact the Tooth Fairy.
When challenged later about the results of the test, the Bush team switched tack and insisted that the whole thing had been “just a bit of fun” and that as with 911, for anyone to think otherwise would be simply a moonbat conspiracy theory.