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It makes my blood boil when....

(36 posts) (16 voices)

Started 5 months ago by beau-jolly
Latest reply from Titus

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Shaftesbury whines.

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beau-jolly

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...some smartarse little bastard comes into my shop and tries to sell me something. Me, not the business. I point out that they have got it the wrong way around. Then when I tell them to f*ck off they get all outraged and start to argue. At what point do they think I'm going to back down and say "oh, go on then"?

A while back a bloke came in to my nice posh wine shop and said, "Alright mate, do you want to buy a matress?" I was gob smacked and just said "Why?" which apparently was a silly question.

Just now a horrible scroat topped them all though. Despite me talking to someone he marched up to the counter and interrupted saying, "OK mate. Have you got a wife or loved one you want to treat?" I looked at him and said "No she died". He didn't miss a beat. "Well maybe someone else in the fam..." Then he got all upset when I told him to f*ck off and marched him out. He was all upset because I said he was trying to sell me something whereas all he wanted to do was give me a great discount offer. He was still arguing with me on the street outside FFS. I perhaps didn't need to play the D-Card so soon but I had expected him to say, "Oh sorry" and leave immediately.

I expect some bleeding heart will tell me I am wrong and I should stand in my shop and listen to their sales pitch and that they are just trying to earn a living. Not off me they aren't. They are worse than bloody "Chuggers".

Rant over. Anyone have similar things annoy them?

Posted 5 months ago #
Not Amused

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Sounds like another episode for the BJ Wineshop sitcom when it comes out !

Posted 5 months ago #
Wrenfoe

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Sorry about that. I was just trying to unload some magic beans and you looked a likely customer.

Btw Can I interest you in a mattress?

Posted 5 months ago #
Scroat

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Hrrrmph...

Posted 5 months ago #
Sinnick

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I dedicate part of my life to getting annoyed about things like that. It's a mission.

I've a little but bright red sticker on my door saying "no callers". You cannot get near the house without seeing it. Charities and those "pretend charities that sound like a real charity" think they're exempt. As do gardeners, driveway people, builders, double glazers, etc, etc and those fucking fucking Jehovah's fucking Witnesses.

Last JH turned up, they sent a spotty teenager to my door. I told him his parents shouldn't be sending him to do this sort of stuff & goodbye. They're worse than radical Muslims, but you know where you are with the latter.

I'm feeling better now, and nursie has just given me a top up.

Posted 5 months ago #
Not Amused

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iT support callers. 'Your computer has a virus and has alerted us'
Bollocks

I keep them on the phone as long as possible pretending to be doing what they say until I get too angry and go all BJ

Posted 5 months ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Pet hate?

When people out for a stroll walk up a residential street, turn through a numbered gate, pass a cottage, and then think that my garden is the perfect place to sit and admire the view, AND THEN GET RATTY WHEN I ASK THEM TO LEAVE!!!

It happens every year, as soon as it gets sunny some randoms end up in my garden and when asked to leave tell me they didn't realise it was a private garden!!

Yes, it's a big garden but they have to walk up a clearly residential street, and through what is obviously a drive gate to get in, so why, WHY, would they think that it was unconnected to the fucking house in the middle of it?!

Eh? WHY?!

Posted 5 months ago #
Dick Everyman

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Here goes!

Walked into Tesco where a cordon of charity food bank collectors had covered all possible ways in. Now don't get me wrong, it's a good cause but FFS I don't want to be greeted by a wall of beggars when all I've come in for is a newspaper..

They even presented me with a list of things I could buy and pop into their trolley on the way out.

I found myself walking around the store with someone else's shopping list, too embarrassed to leave with just the paper which I bloody well forgot and had to call in at the garage for on my way home. They got two tins of tomatoes.

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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I had the same thing on local Tesco visit last weekend. Food bank pontificators, claiming they were feeding the starving. And their list wasn't the 9p noodles I buy, I can tell you! We don't have genuinely starving people in Britain; try watching the telly if you want to see starving.

Together with my general shop (friends visiting) I bought a number of frivalous items (Pimms and Champagne were on the discount aisle, as I recall, together with a special cheese or two)and I ensured they were placed on display in the top of the trolley bags as I strode out.

Posted 5 months ago #
Mr Target

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It's a bit of a cliché, but those ruddy paedophiles get on my nerves.

Why can't they just stop molesting children?

Grrr!

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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Sorry about that, Ms B, but you must admit that we did offer you a freshly brewed mug of Nescafé and it's not our fault that you don't provide a bin for the doggy-do.

Please can we have our clothes pegs back? You can keep the Aldi bags.

Posted 5 months ago #
A.A.Arkwright

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I had a suitcase salesman in't shop the other week but I soon sent him packing.

Posted 5 months ago #
sillybugger

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Its those news items with the poor lovies who have four children and can't afford a five bedroom house because of the cost of a mortgage. Or the struggling with £20k debt on a credit card..hello, choices and consequences mean anything to you?

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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What I hate is when I have what I think is a bloody good idea for the Writers' Room and not one of you lot gives me a star.

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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Amen, SillyBugger,...Amen.

Posted 5 months ago #
sillybugger

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Thanks ID. I think Arthur needs a hug.

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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Oh, for crying out loud, I don't want hugs, I want *stars*. Can't you just read the words?

Posted 5 months ago #
sillybugger

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Ok, we all need to rally round and give Arthur lots of stars. he's going through a difficult time and we need to be supportive. chortle.

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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Pheh!

Posted 5 months ago #
sillybugger

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group hug. crisis averted?

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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Yes, Silly Bugger. I feel tingly all over. It just goes to show that -- despite what others have said in this thread -- charity appeals do actually work.

Posted 5 months ago #
Dick Everyman

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@Arthur
It just goes to show that -- despite what others have said in this thread -- charity appeals do actually work.
[quote]

Would two tins of tomatoes help?

Posted 5 months ago #
Slante Dangle

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BJ - I feel your frustration. I used to do exhibitions and would be stood at my stand while delegates came up to me trying to sell me stuff. I found two ways to get rid of them... 1) I would explain that the stand had cost me money, so I would be happy to hear their sales pitch if the cost of my time was covered - £20 per minute with £40 paid upfront. 2) I would sell them what they sold me... so if they said 'would you like to buy a mattress' I would say, 'no, but would you like to buy a mattress'. Their little confused faces made it all worthwhile.

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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That's awfully kind of you Dick, but I have tomatoes growing in the garden and it would be wrong for me to accept charity I don't need.

You don't happen to have a bottle of Pomerol, do you? Either 2008 or 2009 will do -- I don't mind which.

Posted 5 months ago #
Titus

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What annoys me? Millions of things, being a professional grumpy old git.

One of them is insults to my intelligence - giving things false names, hoping I'm too stupid to notice. Couple of examples:

(1) "Feed in Tariff" for my solar panels. No, this does not relate to anything being 'fed-in' anywhere - the name is a blatant lie. It is purely a generation tariff. I get paid nearly 50p/unit just for generating electricity. I could connect an electric fire to them and leave it out in my garden burning off electricity pointlessly, and I would still get exactly the same payment. What on Earth is the point of that? I also get a tiny payment (just one or two pence) for any electricity which I actually do feed into the grid, but they have had to invent a new, different name for this - the 'export' tariff. It's this kind of nonsense which gives environmentalism such a bad name.

(2) "Child poverty", as in 'Child Poverty Action Group'. A lie. There is no such thing; children do not have any money. Any deprivation suffered by children owing to lack of miney is due to the poverty of their parents. Try calling it "Parent Poverty", and see what a difference this immdediately makes to your attititude.

Being a child is compulsory, but being a parent is not. Even a garden bird does not start breeding until it has staked out enough territory to be able to feed both itself and its potential offspring. Sillybugger put it well.

While I'm ranting on this theme, I also resent the use of the word 'poverty' to describe the situation of anyone who does not have quite as much money as they would like to have. There may indeed be some people in this country who do indeed suffer genuine poverty, but this is rarely due to lack of cash; it is more likley that they have mental health or addiction problems. You rarely cure poverty by simply giving money to poor people.

Posted 5 months ago #
A.A.Arkwright

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Pat on the back for Titus for saying health or addiction problems and not using that bloody word "issues".

Posted 5 months ago #
Dick Everyman

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Bugger. I'm completely out of Pomerol Arthur - perhaps BJ has a nice bottle of Château Le Pin mellowing away in his cellar which he'd be willing to donate?

Posted 5 months ago #
Ironduke

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I think we need to set up a charity star bank for Arthur

Anyone who is feeling flush with stars may chuck one of their less-sparkly or slightly-dented stars into his basket, and bask in their luxuriant self-satisfied altruism for so doing.

Posted 5 months ago #
Arthur

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Nice idea, ID. I'll sit on the pavement outside the Writers' Room where everyone will see me as they go in.

Can someone lend me a puppy dog with sad-looking eyes?

Posted 5 months ago #
beau-jolly

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2009 Arthur. Much better year but still too young whereas the lighter 2008 will be OK now. Had a quick look for the Le Pin but must have necked it.

I had to apologise to a friend this morning for caling her "that stupid bloody woman" apparently in her earshot. I was having a beer fuelled rant about the above and she interupted saying "he was only doing his job" WHAT!!! Suddenly I'm the f*cking baddie. I could be ranting about badger molesters and some f*ckwit will take an opposing stance. Sometimes I am right you know!

On an alltogether more optimistic theme: I bought some 2011 Port the other day. I say bought, I paid for it the other day but I won't see it until 2015 and it won't be ready to drink for further 20 years. It will be interesting to see which of us survives.

Posted 5 months ago #