Kraft Foods has issued a recall notice for all packs of Oreo biscuits with manufacturing dates prior to March 2010 after claims that the 'licking' phase of their 'twist it, lick it, dunk it' preparation guidelines is 'completely redundant'.
Olaf Yörgenson, head of the baked product research laboratory at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, has been studying the biscuit for six months. 'The halves must be dunked separately to prevent one part falling off, and we found that the twist was essential to separate the two sections of the biscuit sandwich without snappage,' he said, 'but we have found no evidence to suggest any benefit at all from licking the surface of the toughened glue used to adhere the two parts together. It wouldn't budge no matter how hard we licked it. It doesn't even taste of anything.'
Nabisco, Kraft's biscuit division, has said that licking the white paste is not thought to be harmful and that a coating of saliva may help the indigestible glue to dissolve quicker when dunked into a glass of cold milk. Yörgenson says the company has failed to provide any evidence to back up its claims and is recommending that parents provide their children with a very sharp knife to allow them to 'twist it, scrape it, dispose of it carefully'.
Kraft says that the sandwich binder is biologically inert, passing through the bowel unmodified, but has decided to recall the product to allay any consumer safety fears. They have already begun shipping new packaging which omits the controversial 'licking' stage, but parents are said to be 'horrified' by the new catchphrase being used.
'For some inexplicable reason my kids love Oreos, and they really enjoy twisting them apart,' said one mother from Bristol, 'but I'll be buggered if I'm going to let them 'flob a greenie' on them before they dunk them in their bedtime drink.'