In a surprise ruling the Supreme Court has ordered that all future civil actions will be referred to as a “Trump”. It is predicted that by 2015 46% of all court cases in the U.S. will involve Donald Trump as either plaintiff or defendant and some cases both.
Not content with licensing the use of his name in connection with nefarious property developments, Mr. Trump has signed an exclusivity deal whereby in every civil action at least one person should be referred to as “The Trump”.
Recently beauty queen, Sheena Monnin , has been ordered to pay $5m in defamation costs after suggesting that the top five finalists of Miss USA were all predetermined and called “Trump”. So far, the American billionaire and wrestling fanatic seems unconcerned that his brand might become associated with failure, bankruptcy or even organized crime. A spokesmen said: “The important thing is that every part of the judiciary is named Trump. Think of his name like some large, woven mesh covering all things legal. This candy-floss injunction or lawsuit comb-over if you will, is there to protect every humble billionaire.”
The glossy Trump Magazine paints a picture of a modest man “sitting at the heart of the Trump Organization in Trump Towers, drinking Trump Vodka, eating Trump Steaks, adorned in Trump Menswear, smelling of Trump fragrance, while planning which part of Scotland to buy and playing a game of Trumps”. Media criticism, that he questioned President Obama’s citizenship, overlooked Mr. Trump’s own generous offer to adopt the Kenyan - "provided he change his name to Barack Trump".