Sporting history was made today as a female British tourist became the first ever none-professional cyclist to win a stage of the world's most prestigious and gruelling sporting events - the Tour de France.
After taking a wrong turn on her way back from a village delicatessen, 43-year-old Patricia Carmichael of Epping, Surrey, on a one-week camping and cycling holiday with her two children, found herself unwittingly leading the pack close to the final stretch of the tours' notorious stage 7, on her rented 4-gear Saracen Poppy bicycle, and despite being ferociously chased down by 22 world-class cycling teams, Patricia glided over the line to a rapturous ovation.
Carrying bent baguettes and broken eggs in her front basket, Patricia, looking flushed and extremely confused, quickly dismounted to allow the speeding pack to safely pass.
When asked what on earth happened, she said: "I found myself on the wrong path, which has happened before so I wasn't too concerned, until I saw hundreds of men in lycra approaching from behind at an awfully rapid pace. I just panicked, shifted in to third and started pedalling. Next thing I know I'm breaking records. And my eggs"
Despite her previous cycling experience only being a 1k fun-ride through Epping Forest to raise money for her local parish church in 2007, Patricia was whisked away by officials and offered a multi-million pound sponsorship deal from Nike, before having it rescinded just five minutes later, after a roadside drug test detected mild traces of a herbal paracetamol in her system.