The current febrile and increasing unstable state of the nation was highlighted yesterday in this tense statement by the Head of UK Joint Forces, General Digby Fanshawe-Ffynnes: "As the nation gathers around their TV sets to cheer on Andrew Murray, we are aware of counter movements that want him to fail and a small minority who inexplicably, couldn't care less. So, in the best interests of the country, and to avoid conflict, we will impose martial law in the unlikely event of Mr. Murray failing to secure a victory in SW19. Emergency measures will certainly be enforced if he loses to that Argie Del Potro in the final'.
Observers reported tank movements heading from Aldershot to the Wimbledon area, but an Army spokesman denied this had anything to with General Digby Fanshawe-Ffynnes' statement.
Meanwhile, there has been no reported sightings of Andy Murray, but sources close to his tight knit camp confirmed he is preparing for the Wimbledon showdown in a top secret military facility near Porton Down.