Barack Obama used his Tanzania speech to endorse an African-based franchise of the ever popular reality TV show. Shown internationally in 170 countries, The CW extravaganza is yet to crack the lucrative African market. Currently the network's highest rated series, advertisers pay $61,315 per 30-second slot – which is a lot more productive than Bono clicking his fingers thirty times.
Greeted by troupes of dancers, the US President explained he wanted to move away from “traditional forms of international development” and focus on fashion, fine art and military coups. While current diets are moving First World countries to a Plus-Size model, there is a clear gap in the market for traditional, emaciated glamour. The basic skill set for a Runway Model is well within the capability of those who walk many miles for food each day.
The Pharmaceutical Industry has agreed to continue to grossly inflate the cost of medication so (week by week) contestants can be eliminated by a series of easily curable diseases. While Walmart will release a clothing and accessories line; including a range of fetching rubber necklaces. The obligatory “cat fights” between the aspiring Models will now have the added bonus of involving actual tigers wearing spandex.
Pointing out the need for better Designers, Mr. Obama called upon African governments to give gay people equal rights by decriminalizing homosexual acts and the use of feather boas. He also signed an executive order aimed at preventing wildlife trafficking, particularly the sale of Heather Mills ivory leg, Anand Jon’s horn and big game birds like Tyra Banks.