Men all across the UK were 'over-the-moon' and 'relieved' today after major retailers John lewis, Debenhams and Primark all agreed plans to revolutionise the way men experience shopping with their partners, and eradicate the issues many of them face when seeking comfortable refuge whilst on dreadfully long shopping trips
'Duck hunting games and massage chairs' are just a couple of ideas laid on the table by Primark, which until now has been labelled 'an extension of hell' by many of the male species attempting to survive painful and emotionally draining shopping days.
A recent study carried out across fifteen major retail outlets showed that, on an average four-hour shopping trip, a man will spend a minimum of one hour mindlessly 'shadowing' their partners through the aisles, followed by another hour inspecting the build quality of interior fittings for no apparent reason, thirty seconds furtively browsing lingerie, and the remaining time scanning for ideal and safe areas to rest, whilst not looking 'unsavoury' to single female shoppers in nearby fitting rooms.
"This is great news", explained Dave Parker from Westcliffe-on-Sea. "Women are basically savages on Saturday afternoons. Shops are not a safe place for men like me. To know we have somewhere to go is a great relief".
'Man-Zone' is the official name given to the initiative set-out by John Lewis, who have promised to provide men with a range of sport magazines, leather 'thinking couches', a range of novelty gadgets, and 'Smart TV corners' that stream constant episodes of Top Gear in a bid to raise dampened spirits.
Retail giant Debenhams has also promised to put an end to the awkward and embarrassing situation many men face when asked to hold their partners handbags whilst they're trying on twelve pairs of jeans. 'A secure handbag deposit area will be provided to men who are unsure and worried about who could potentially be witnessing them standing alone in a women's clothes shop, holding a girls bag', said a Debenhams spokesperson.