Ron Drear of Epping spoke of his disappointment today after finding out that the five-star Hotel California to which he had brought his wife for a second honeymoon would not allow them to 'leave', despite a clearly-stated policy of allowing guests to 'check out any time'.
Mr Drear told reporters: "I'm disappointed. I was led to believe that you could 'check out any time you like', but now it appears that 'you can never leave'. I suppose some people might find that an amusing mistake on my part."
This is not the first time that the hotel has received complaints. According to reviews on the TripAdvisor website in a report probably very similar to this one, other guests complained of 'mirrors on the ceiling', parts of the wine list not being available 'since 1969', unspecified 'stabbing with steely knives' and an unpleasant 'smell of colitas'.
A spokesman for the hotel management disputed the complaints, saying: "This is bollocks. Just repeating lines of a song doesn't make something funny happen, for fuck's sake. Get a grip."