In an effort to improve its international profile North Korea has made the surprise announcement that it will be sponsoring next year’s Glastonbury Festival.
A North Korean official speaking from Pyongyang said “The Glastonbury Festival is a perfect fit with the North Korean brand, every year tens of thousands of people are herded behind high fences where they are held in primitive conditions and forced to listen to elderly men with dodgy hair spouting nonsense”.
He also had words of praise for the Festivals’ founder Michael Eavis, “We’ve been very impressed by Mr Eavis’s unequivocal support for shooting undesirables such as badgers, he’s the sort of man we can do business with”.
Full details of the sponsorship have yet to be revealed, but highlights will include a synchronised display by two thousand members of the North Korean under thirteen female acrobatics squad, a gig by leading North Korean combo ‘Kim and the Yong Un’s’ featuring well known classics such as ‘Little Red Ruler’, ‘Get off my (atomic) Cloud’ and ‘Give War a Chance’. The weekend will culminate in a military parade through the streets of Pilton followed by a fireworks display and missile launch from the main Pyramid stage.
“We’re expecting it to go with a bang” said a Glastonbury spokesperson.