Environmentalists are celebrating the success of an experiment to tap into the heat resources of menopausal women as an alternative to fossil fuels.
The new energy source was identified by eminent scientist Professor Jorge Jorgensen, whose work in the field of thermo dynamics is contributing to the global search for alternative energy sources.
In a recent interview with the science magazine Nature he said, “I was sitting with my wife in a café in Reykjavik when, at the onset of a hot flush she suddenly leaped from her chair and out into the street, leaving her Gortex coat behind her. It was minus fifteen outside and my first thought was ‘what a wicked waste of heat’ so I set about thinking of a way to harness the energy for the good of mankind.”
After months of experimentation and protests from his wife, Jorgensen devised a simple heat conducting unit in the form of a pretty and lightweight turtle necked cape designed to match any outfit, which could be worn during a hot flush and plugged into the national grid.
“The foil based cape can be folded up and placed in a handbag and quickly retrieved at the first signs of a menopausal incident. After it is placed over the head it is attached to a special transformer and plugged into an ordinary electrical socket to conduct the heat energy into the national grid.”
It is estimated that the energy generated by just 10,000 women will be equal to a five hour hydro-electric output from the Hoover Dam or one hour’s output from the nuclear reprocessing plant at Sellafied. "During any subsequent 'cold-flush' the devise can be plugged into any standard air conditioning unit."
Professor Jorgensen is now researching ways of harnessing political hot-air, celebrity red-faced shame and Daily Mail vitriol...
Hat tips to Lindy Moone; Wrenfoe and Sinnick