The US government was up in arms today after hotly pursued American fugitive Edward Snowden was announced as a surprise housemate on Channel 5's jewel in the crown, Big Brother. Sources close to the president have promised that Channel 5 will feel the 'full weight' of the US government, and have confirmed that Barack Obama has already been in contact with the TV channel, who have so far remained firm.
"He was an obvious choice" insisted head producer Matt Burns. "Political issues aside, his tendancy to flit from group to group and stir shit could prove invaluable; it'll make for great TV". Confident that the existing housemates are unlikely to have kept up-to-date with current affairs, Snowden has initiated himself within group under the guise of 'Stephen Morris', a transgender lifeguard on a working holiday from Miami.
"Currently the house is divided in two as a part of a shopping task, and "Stephen" will be tasked with passing information from one group to the other without his cover being blown' said the show's task coordinator, Julie Meadows. 'He's a natural'.
When asked how long Snowden will remain in the house, Big Brother host Brian Dowling said 'that's entirely up to the British public. Eviction night will still be held on Fridays, but could be renamed 'Extradition Night'.
When quizzed about how Snowden could evade capture and audition for a TV show in the UK, a White House spokesman said: "The President and his advisors have been pursuing all legal channels to find Snowden, we just didn't think to check Channel 5'.
He later explained that two US officials are now stationed in Hertfordshire, half a mile from the Big Brother house, attempting to monitor Snowden's movements by watching 24 hour footage of the show on 5*, but 'crappy signal' issues have so far slowed their progress.
