Homeopathic footballer gives it 0.000001%
(14 posts) (9 voices)
Blinded by the light!
thanks, suspect it may have been done before but can't be bothered to look!
Love this - full 5 *.
Triple whammy - takes the piss out of three separate lots of simpletons (footballers, homeopathy advocates and people who do not undertand what "100%" means) all at the same time.
I suppose some people would want to give you five-and-a-half stars since you evidently put 110% effort into concocting this.
(Was it on here where I read about the homeopathy patient who accidentally forgot to take their medication one day, and promptly died of an overdose?)
I couldn't resist....
Bucking the trend of gross exaggeration often seen amongst sportsmen and women across a variety of sports and occasionally games that think they are sports, homeopathic devotee and part time footballer Chris Elderberry is reported to have given 0.000000001% effort during his sides latest cup game.
Speaking after leaving the pitch virtually as fresh as when he entered it, Chris remarked that he liked to dilute his effort through the course of a season, so much so that many unbelieving spectators might think he has no influence or effect on proceedings whatsoever. When quizzed what aided his powerhouse performance Chris replied "well even though its a game of two halves I use nothing but water"
"Some folks think I am a useless, good for nothing," said homeopathetic Chris, who when asked to describe his influence, thought it was "subtle at best."
Thankfully for Chris and his team the two new Argentinian signings "Belladonna" and "Arnica" should add much needed stiffness to the impotent defence.
"It's something you know is there but which cannot be captured in words." he concluded.
Neither can it be captured by gas, liquid, gel chromatography or spectrometry come to that. But then as every manager knows football is a beautiful game not a precise science.
I'd be inclined to describe him as a homeopathetic footballer.
Bwahahahahaha, both for the original and the soon to be Nib.
homeopathetic it is then...a little later
LOL! I can't find a previous example either.
Nice expansion and it gives me a valid excuse to star my own sub
I think the headline stands on its own. Stars for that.
irreverendJ's expansion is also good though. Room for some more football cliches perhaps? "... but it's all about the three pints" after Chris's quote about water maybe?
Surely nowhere near enough decimal places?
Homeopathic football pioneered by Gary Lineker ?
Rare case where silly names adds value to the sub, irreverendj.
"back of the net !" (a phrase I hope I never use outside this website)
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