Following the success of Street View, Google are set to shake up the world of gangland killings with their new Google ‘Drive-by’ feature.
Spokesman for the global giant, Kelly Preston said: “We’ve been sending out our specially adapted cars to take panoramic views of the major slaying spots for execution style gangland killings.
We’ve now got more than 10,000 miles of views of 1960’s high rise estates, industrial units, car parks and back-street pubs, from Manchester to the East End of London, from LA to Columbia. If you’ve got a bad-ass mother you need to silence we can help you work out where to and how to.”
By using Google maps with ‘Drive-by’ a hitman can explore all the places around the world where they might want to rub out a rival and save the hassle of staking out the victims territory. A ‘Drive-by’ user need only know where the potential victim lives and they can work out the whole ‘trip and hit’ from the comfort of their own home, or any place with a secure Wi-Fi network.
Google ‘Drive-by’ even allows a user to step inside restaurants and small businesses to check out the scene if they think they might end up having to get out of the car to finish the target off.
Small town drug dealer and crime syndicate boss Mickey Ross was enthusiastic in his praise. “Google Drive by is so easy to use. With its 360 degree street level imagery I knew everything in advance about where ‘Pretty Boy’ Hennessy was going to be. From the moment he walked out of the bookies to the moment he collapsed bleeding to death in the doorway of the chippy, I felt like I knew the ground down to the last fag end. It saved me loads of worry. Their premium service gave me full access to Pretty Boy’s email and mobile phone records so I not only knew what my killing field looked like but when he’d be there. Mental.”
Alongside Google ‘Drive by’ plans are in place for additional products such as Google “Alleyway and Parkland”, Google “Wasteland” and Google ‘Major Diplomatic Incident’ to be launched soon.