Expanding on the idea by apepper
The South African health service has pledged to use more stoic and emotionless vehicles in future after the ambulance carrying Nelson Mandela from Johannesburg to Pretoria broke down unexpectedly, sobbing uncontrollably. Thankfully there was a hard shoulder for it to cry on.
“It was exhausting just watching its poor heart brake into pieces,” said one observer, “I was really choked, especially when the sirens started wailing. It was nearly hysterical at one point, flashing its lights and setting its windscreen wipers to warp speed. At the end of it all I felt tyred out just watching!”
According to the DVLA, currently being outsourced to Swansea, Wales for economic reasons, the ambulance had no previous history of emotional instability, mental health problems or self esteem issues. The only blemish on its previous record was a single unsupported charge for battery that was dropped for insufficient bodywork of evidence.
Thankfully for all concerned a team of highly trained medical personal and psychological counselors jumped into action quicker than a Kwik fit fitter and comforted the distressed vehicle until help arrived.
A spokesman for the ministry of the inferior was quick to point out that at no time was the ambulance left unattended or its condition compromised despite the freezing winter temperatures. Security officials have as yet no indicators as to whether this can be labelled a terrorist attack and are thought to be clutching at straws for some spark to ignite their case. "We'll find the key sooner or later" said Captain Jan Villanhousen of the SA Highway Patrol Agency.
Initially the leading suspect was thought to be the infamous “Fan Belt” but this turned out to be a misunderstanding due to a poor radio and was in fact referring to the ambulances location on the High Veld.