Despite raising fears about the impact that shale gas fracking will have on society and the nation's health, it has been forced to concede that it had embarked on its own secret vitriol fracking campaign resulting from its own reserves running low.
Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre said he felt 'The right minded public has been let-down and deserves a full apology from the gypsies and immigrants that have forced us down this route by forcing us to use vast amounts of vitriol in our publication for the past ten years.'
The Daily Mail's concerns with shale gas fracking include its potential linkage with cancer, illegal immigrants entering the country through disused fracking mine shafts and the use of such mine shafts to conceal weapons of mass destruction that could be used by the Taliban. Dacre confirmed that the paper's own vitriol fracking could not be used for illegal immigrany smuggling purposes because of the amount of poison and hatred it contained 'They would die instantly' confirmed Dacre, or be bayonetted by Farage as they emerged from the tunnel.'
Unlike shale gas fracking, which has been largely confined to the north of England, vitriol fracking has concentrated on towns such as Tunbridge Wells, Chipping Norton and Sandbanks, all of which are in the affluent southern part of England and are thought to possess unlimited reserves, but even in the north, towns such as Lytham St Annes and Alderley Edge are also thought to possess substantial reserves.
Dacre's view on the future of vitriol fracking is clear 'If we can stop these immigrants and commies from coming over here and causing cancer, claiming billions in benefits and murdering innocent women and children then we can reduce the need for vitriol, and rely on more traditional and sustainable resources such as innuendo, racial stereotyping, gossip, and mindless dedication to the monarchy.'