The man who revolutionised advertising and modern art collecting has a new creative string to his bow. Playful tiffs, broken down into heavyweight, welterweight and lightweight sectors will take place in town halls, swimming pools and other public venues up and down Britain. ITV is about to reschedule Saturday afternoons round the new sport.
"It's about time that people saw the lighter side of domestic conflict and my playful tiffs will certainly show that off," said Saatchi, who has publicly experimented with the basic rules himself. Tiiffers with names like Mick McMarriage and Giant Wifesmacks will take on female contestants in displays of sporting marital violence. "My wife is already planning a fantastic menu of interval snacks to be available between bouts", said the burly ad man. "Nigella really is unbeatable," a police officer advised Mr Saatchi.
Tag-tiffing, in which husband and wife combatants are replaced in the ring by an interfering mother in law or an officious social worker will be especially lively. "Of course people will say that my all-in playful tiffs are faked," said Saatchi. "There's no doubt they'll have entertainment value but each round will be decided by the referee whose word will be final. It's strictly two submissions, a knock out or a court order."