The Creator of the Universe has announced that the inability to answer people's prayers is down to “simple administrative errors” and should in no way compromise their faith in Him or stop them going to church.
“It's hard to sift the genuine messages from the heaps of spam that come piling in every day”, said one of His spokespersons. “It's well known that God is omniscient, but the spammers are shifting tactics so fast, even He can't keep up”. An entreaty to cure someone's cancer or a request to win the Lottery jackpot could be lost among a pile of time-share offers or 'old weird weight loss secrets'”
Also, he said, they are struggling to distinguish prayers from spam in some cases. “For instance, there's a group of attractive young women 'eager to meet older men in their forties and fifties' and we can't figure them out. They're always three miles away”.