After an assertive crackdown on homosexual rights, Russia’s lower house of Parliament continues its aggressive blitz in the war on traditional marriage.
The legislative body is moving to pass a new bill to further increase the rights of heterosexual couples. The bill proposes a countrywide ban on individual ownership of dogs, horses, cats, pigs and other potential domestic animals. The bill further prohibits the possession of vacuum cleaners, toilet paper rolls, and mops.
Yelena Mizuluvich, a prominent MP, defends the bill saying, ”It is our God-given duty to protect heterosexuals from endangerment; if we don’t implement these restrictions now, then it won’t be long before people start making love to these ubiquitous animals and possessions.” She continues, “When that happens, we will have a whole new threat to deal with.”
Protestors in Moscow have rallied in support of these bans, claiming that the government is right to spend its resources in its defense of traditional marriage against anti-Christian beliefs, which of course takes precedence over putting an end to dangerous and drunk driving, political assassinations, the incarceration of activists, and the sex trade, among other things.