A spokeman for Her Majesty the Queen has quashed rumours, before they even start, that the Birthday Honours List is just "an excuse for Prince Andrew to find a new bird".
A source close to the Queen, former palace coal deliveryman Bert Chimchimeree (68) claims that Prince Andrew had bragged to him that he found the Queen's secret diary with the list in it. The eligible, but slightly balding prince apparently added the names of some famous women he quite fancied.
The Queen's press secretary Sir Arthur Toeline dismissed this as "pure speculation" but, when questioned, admitted he too, had "absolutely no idea why Catherine Zeta Jones had appeared on the list".
Andrew has been heard bragging to regulars in the Racists Arms pub in Windsor that he also added the names of Tamara Mellon, Amy Williams, and Sophie Okenodo and that he hoped to get them alone after the ceremony at the palace to perform a ceremony with his own sword.
When asked about the inclusion of Deirdre Barlow, the prince was heard to say, "well, after one's third creme de menthe, one would, wouldn't one?"
Apparently, the unlucky in love prince is already working on the New Year's honours list and is thought to have already added Cheryl Cole, Jordan, that bird out of Eastenders, you know, the fairly posh one, and the tall one out of The Saturdays.
Desperate Andrew fiddled with Honours List, claims palace insider.
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A spokeman for Her Majesty the Queen has quashed rumours, before they even start, that the Birthday Honours List is just "an excuse for Prince Andrew to find a new bird".Posted 5 years ago #
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