British Prime Minister, David Cameron, has offered a reward to anyone who can invent something so hugely significant that it rescues the economy and sparks a new phase in the history of mankind.
Cameron said: “With no evident solution for our economic woes and the environment set to implode, I am offering £73 out of my own pocket to the enterprising individual who can spark a new age for mankind and put Britain back on top once again!”
“We’re looking for a new industrial revolution, making all previous technologies redundant and reclaiming the empire for Her Majesty.
“Alternatively, the recipient might be a new Jesus, opening up an era of spiritual enlightenment that will render all previous spiritual enlightenment redundant, and, ideally, making Britain a must-see tourist destination for pilgrims across the world. Though for that one, we would need to see a miracle or two before we hand over the money.”
The initative is being launched ahead of the upcoming meeting of G8 nations. Lord Rees, Astronomer Royal, will chair a committee overseeing the initiative and awarding the prize. He said: “The winner might use a ‘ray-beam’ to create worm-holes to new universes to open trade with alien nations. Or he might make us all super-intelligent by buggering with our brains. Or immortal by buggering with our … Anyway, we need it by next Monday.”
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
PM: £73 to initiate age of aquarius
(1 post) (1 voice)
Current rating::
-
monkeyrepublic
offlineMemberPosted 5 months ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.