A pressure group, Surfers Against Sewerage, have also complained that too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea, causing a hazard for shipping.
A spokesperson for the water company explained, "You lay your bets, and then you pay the price" Adding, " In our case a very high price, we don't just do these things for love. We aim to make huge profits, and yet still pay no corporation tax".
Environmentalists believe that communication is the problem to the answer. They explain, "We've got their number, and our hand is on the phone. However, the weather has turned and all the lines are down. Ooh they've got a way with it, they've had us crawling up the wall."
Scientists think, that people are walking in the rain and the snow, when there's nowhere to go, and suffering symptoms including 'feeling like a part of them is dying'. If this 'dying' part finds it's way into the water system, it could be the cause the pollution readings. They are currently looking in sufferer's eyes for the answer.
The water company has offered a compromise, suggesting it would 'surely help the situation'. They say we should all, "Agree to disagree, but disagree to part" as they don't want to loose customers. However, some doubt has been cast on the validity of the test results as it was revealed that the findings are based on a very small sample of water, in fact just 10cc.