Robert Murdoch has announced his undying love for Russian President Vladimir Putin, only hours after announcing his split with Wendi Deng, his wife of 14 years.
"The coast is now clear for my little Vlad and I to confess publicly our passion for each other," the news magnate stated at a press conference hastily called this afternoon. "And just as soon as my lawyers have blotted the ink dry on our pre-nup you can bet we'll be booking ourselves into the first registry office that'll have us - whether it be in Britain, Russia, Oz, or even the USA where the FBI are not keen on me as you know. So now I say stuff you FBI - I'm marrying the President of Russia. Do your worst. I am just so in love."
So far there is no confirmation from the Russian leader, who has been hard to reach. "Vlad's aware of my intention, I left a message on his voicemail and I know he's listened to it," Murdoch reassured the gathered reporters. "He's very keen, always has been. He's crazy in fact. I quite expect there to be a plane-load of lillies or crysanths or something like that heading my way. That's him all over. But hopefully no chocolates as they play hell with my complexion."
The couple are alleged to have met on one of the News Corporation boss's frequent overseas trips, as he often travelled unaccompanied by his wife.
"Keeping it from Wendi has been tough these last few months, but it's such a relief now to have it in the open," the media mogul added. "Because there's one thing I hate above all else - and that's any kind of deceit."