Martin Nunn, head of HMRC's Corporate Tax division, today responded to criticism about HMRC's lack of action against Google, who yet again have not paid any tax.
At a press conference today, Mr Nunn defended HMRC. 'We have gone into this most thoroughly,' he said. 'My PA Kylie has spent many hours on the internet. Heaven knows what she's been doing, but it seems to involve a webcam and making lots of money. Anyway, I asked her to conduct a comprehensive investigation of Google's tax affairs. So she typed 'Google's taxes' into Google, and it came back with the answer that they don't owe any taxes, and would we like to go out with them to a huge lunch and watch the men's finals at Wimbledon.
'We are therefore satisfied that Google don't owe us anything.
'However, we are pleased to report that we are taking aggressive legal action against a disabled lady who has sold a jumper she knitted without declaring this income. This shows exactly how effective HMRC is!'