An investigation is under way about an incident where a woman touched pop impresario Simon Cowell with a 10 foot barge pole. A spokesman for Mr Cowell explained; "Clearly this is a very disturbed woman. Mr Cowell has developed an anti-charisma field that puts people off being in the same room as him. Like all his employees, I carry this bucket at all times in case I meet him unexpectedly."
Shock as woman touches Simon Cowell with 10 foot barge pole
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