A search engine has launched the world's first software double agent, which pretends to be helping you surf the internet while reporting everything you do to the authorities.
The software, Big Browser, has all the cute graphics and exudes all the fake bonhommie that are the modern hallmarks of digital deviants. With a cynicism that would make a child molester wince, the search engine shop-timizer (SES) can instantly win a victim's confidence and exploit it at a rate of 1000 BPS (betrayals per second).
"If you could digitise and integrate Jimmy Savile and J Edgar Hoover, you still wouldn't have anything close to as sleazy as the new Big Browser," said one analyst. "The markets will love this one. I have revised up my profit forecast."
The FBI and GCHQ are said to have Beta tested big Browser and both raved about its new depths of depravity. "With its schmaltzy look and feel but ruthless exploitation engine, this software would chill the blood of Max Clifford," said one delighted GCHQ spook.
Even a hardened FBI man, with undermining experience that spans 30 years and five continents, was shocked at the power and range of the digital dirty tricks system. "This is Chile, Vietnam and el Salvador embodimentized in one easy to abuse system."