The government today outlined plans to make the job of Secretary of State for Education more rigorous so that only the very best candidates will be considered for the role.
In a statement, the Department for Education (DfE) said that successive appointments had shown a talent deflation over the last three years, that too many previous candidates were woefully underprepared for the demands of the job and were happy to coast through, not be noticed and take their ministerial pension after they were booted out of the door.
Furthermore, assessment of any minister will be regraded in step with Ofsted inspection of schools and the bastardisation of language that occurs there. From now on, a rating of satisfactory will mean 'utterly hopeless and should probably be taken out the back of the Palace of Westminster and quietly put to sleep'.
Michael Gove is satisfactory.