"When my wife Sonia started to drop hashtags into her ordinary dinner party conversation, I noticed the incredible effect it had on breaking up and dispersing the guests," explained @ChiefInspector Dripplewhip of #SurreyBoysInBlue." I started to wonder whether the concept would have applications elsewhere."
"Hashtag OpportunityTooGoodToMiss," chipped in Sonia. "So straightaway we came up with this hashtag GeniusIdea, you see. Street full of riot police. Other end, bunch of unsavouries. Hashtag MobRule. So hashtag DapperLookingHubby (hashtag MenInUniformAreSoSexy) gets on the loudhailer. Haven't you lot got hashtag HomesToGoTo, he says. We're all looking forward to our hashtag SundayLieIn, followed by hashtag NomNom SundayRoast hashtag With AllTheTrimmings, so why don't you lot all hashtag PissOffHome and get a hashtag GoodNightsSleep?"
"That should jolly well hashtag DoTheTrick!"
(At this point our reporter #MadeMyExcusesAndLeft.)