Having quelled fears about internet snooping by GCHQ, William Hague made it clear that voters should not be worried by the partially constructed space station seen in the night sky above Slough.
A spokesmen for the Foreign Office said: "Law-abiding Britons will in no way be targeted by the proposed super laser. Once operational it will be governed by a very strong legal framework and the whims of Peter Cushing look-alike Norman Tebbit".
Mr Hague - the minister responsible for GCHQ - refused to confirm or deny claims the Death Star had access to Google Maps as part of its targeting software. The suggestion that the Coalition had circumvented the law or local building regulations were dismissed as alarmist. He said it would "defeat the object" to reveal how the Death Star was built as it might reveal small, thermal exhaust ports which could be exploited by terrorists, criminal networks or X-wing fighters. The White House in 2012 refused to invest in a U.S. Death Star due to economic constraints, the cost of steel and that "the Administration does not support blowing up planets".
Concerns about eavesdropping by security services have been raised on the world of Alderaan but Mr. Hague assured reporters that these voices of discontent would soon be silenced.