Oscar Pistorius was yesterday apologizing again, after he mistakenly shot his grandmother as he reached up to change a light-bulb in her living room. Oscar’s grannie was shot six times in her armchair at close range as he stumbled holding the bayonet bulb. “The ladder slipped” claimed the athlete.
This follows a catalogue of recent similar mistakes by the 26 year old athlete. Out on bail for shooting his girlfriend through a bathroom door, Pistorius also recently unwittingly murdered his postman. In a tragic accident, Oscar shot three times through the letter box with a sawn-off shotgun. He claims he was cleaning his gun in the hallway when he tripped on his laces. Managing three times to reload his rifle during the fall, Pistorius claims it was hugely unlucky that the postman bent down at the wrong moment to deliver the letters, and was met with a barrage of bullets, straight in his unsuspecting face.
The tragic incident was to dramatically repeat itself days later, as he reversed his SUV several times over a fellow athlete and competitor at his Johannesburg training camp. Pistorius claims he didn’t see the man crouching down in the starting blocks.
Pistorius denies foul play and claims he is just a victim of circumstance. “I’m error prone” said the athlete, renowned for his meticulous preparation. “People always point to the time I mistakenly decapitated my cat opening a tin of cat food” said Pistorius, “that’s when the bad luck started”.
Pistouris is due in court today to answer charges, but it is widely believed he’ll be allowed to continue his release on bail, as he represents no immediate danger to the public.