Manchester based football star Roo Ni Wayan is reported to be considering handing in a transfer request. In a tweet he has expressed his fear for his family over the North/South Ikea gnome hostilities. Roo Ni has faced gnomist chants throughout his career but this has stepped up since the showing of a brutal gnome bashing TV advert. Chants have been heard likening Roo Ni's complexion to that of a meatball.
Roo Ni has taken part in a rival TV commercial in which he plays himself taking free kicks over a “wall” of garden gnomes in what appears to be a South Ikean garden. In the film he fails to hit the target every time while destroying numerous North Ikean garden products without harming a single gnome.
In an attempt to appease Roo Ni and his followers, Kim Jongle, the North Ikean leader, has offered to introduce a range of Roo Ni soft trolls to the North Ikean product range. This, he believes, will demonstrate North Ikea's tolerance of small ugly objects.