Fred Trugweaver, known to NewsBiscuit fans by his pseudonym Farcical_Fred477, was today awarded a seven-figure annual salary by the BBC.
"I was thrilled to bits," said Fred. "All I'd done was post a few puns in the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room, hoping I might get a ticker, when a headhunter contacted me through the NewsBiscuit messaging service. Apparently, I'd shown exactly the sort of talent that the BBC was looking for.
"It's like a dream come true," he continued. "It's better than a lottery win."
Fred, whose new employment package includes a guaranteed £2 million redundancy handshake and a multimillion pound pension scheme, is now planning to spend more time with his family.
"Thinking of puns that no one else had used was a bit time-consuming," he admitted. "This way, I'll be able to lead a normal life."
It is not clear what Mr Trugweaver's new job will entail. A BBC spokesperson was unable to comment.
[Transcribed by a friend from a handwritten note by Arthur]