Following their last game, England have proved that they are brilliant/awful, and that Roy Hodgson should be knighted/shot.
Wayne Rooney was especially on form/on Mars Bars, and he could have scored even more/even with John Terry's granny. As a result, England do/don't miss David Beckham, who should/shouldn't be recalled as soon as possible.
In defence, Ashley Cole was imperious/in MacDonald's, and his influence was stabilising/crack cocaine, while in goal, Joe Hart was unbeatable/invisible.
Frank Lampard in midfield was commanding/pointless, while substitute Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain was just the inspiration England needed/just the sort of stupid name we can do without.
Overall, we rate this England team as 9/2 out of 10, and proves that as far as the next World Cup is concerned, we need fear nothing/everything.