Maria Miller, Minister for Equalities, today announced a programme to encourage non-muslims to become terrorists.
At a press conference today, she said: 'For too long, we have denied people of other faiths the opportunity to become terrorists. As part of our commitment to equality of opportunity for all under the Equality Act 2010, we shall be launching a comprehensive programme of terrorism training across schools, synagogues, churches, temples and whever Buddhists go to of a Sunday morning.
'We shall be showing them how to use knives, guns, swords and bombs, and how to make videos saying they hate everyone and will kill as many people as they possibly can. We shall also give them lessons in hostage taking, and how to scare the sh*t out of everyone on a plane at 30,000 feet.
'We are satisfied that this will fulfil our obligations as members of the European Union.'
A spokesman for the Church of England commented:'Er - slight discomfort to infidels, although we are all brothers and sisters really.'