Officers who have made two arrests will be encouraged to pop another suspect into their cars as part of the Met's new '3-for-2' initiative.
"The modern squad car has plenty of room for three on the back seat - so it's a sheer waste to return to the station with just one or two aboard," explained Inspector Tazer of Balham Cop Shop. "Our officers will be expected to top up with another suspect whom they can easily find near to the scene of the earlier arrests. We want to make the scheme as simple to operate as possible, so for once it's ok to mix and match different ethnic origins, religions and sexual preferences.
"3-for 2' is just part of our new consumer-focused offering," Tazer explained. "At check-in, which we now call check-out, the suspects will be scanned, weighed, de-bagged and any unexpected items removed.
"It's very efficient. If anyone should want to experience it for themselves, we're also offering free trials."