Greedy Google boss Eric Schmidt was stunned yesterday, after discovering a legal loophole means he can be banned from all areas of life funded by tax payers.
As parks, schools, hospitals, roads and public transport all declared themselves "Schmidt Free" areas, he was forced to take refuge in a hole in the road. Executives of Vodafone, Goldman Sachs, Starbucks and Amazon found themselves in the same predicament.
"It's so unfair," whined one tax avoider, "OK, I didn't contribute to public life. And I squirrelled away more money than I'll ever need. And I display all the morals of a cockroach. But it's horrible when people apply this simple logic to me."