A man you've never heard of and a woman you've never heard of have done something.
This is highly important, which is why it is splashed all over the internet.
If they have just met, they have said it is true love and they plan to get engaged as soon as possible.
If they have split up, they have blamed each other.
If they have had a baby, they have given it a stupid name, or possibly several stupid names.
If they have made a movie, it is the best thing they have ever done and they are incredibly proud of it.
If their names haven't appeared in the papers for a week, they will start a rumour about themselves to get publicity.
If they have done anything else, they have made an inane comment about it.
And everyone will believe them, and say to one another 'The man you've never heard of and the woman you've never heard of have done something!'