Hard line Tories and the Daily Mail have announced the launch of a new app to give instant support to bigots and bigoted ideas.
Speaking on behalf of the Tory party Sir Gerald Howarth said, “The new app is an integrated solution that differentiates us from our liberal minded and fluffy-wuffy political competitors. It gives us deep integration with facebook, Twitter and Google+ so that we can post our views in seconds to millions of like-minded social media users. Hence if I use the term ‘aggressive homosexuals’ my words will spread across the ether as swiftly as any gay disease you can name.”
The app will initially be available on Android smartphones, although the term ‘Android’ does not sit well with some members who are keen to limit any influx of all types of droids into the UK. It is also part TV guide and will show users who is currently spouting off the latest bigoted stance across all digital channels. It also pulls in tweets from fellow bigots and lets users know what other right wing fundamentalist friends are watching, including any UKIP compatriots who have downloaded the app.
There are great shopping features too within the app allowing users to purchase items ranging from Union Jack mugs and tea towels to United States Tea Party memorabilia and Chieftain tanks.
In addition, users can tap a “locations” button to see where every other bigot is on a single map. At the same time it automatically adds a hashtag to identify a point of interest, such as a landmark where a racist or islamophobic diatribe has occurred along with a high definition photo.
Security and privacy is also built in with the app aiming to clean up people's devices by erasing browser, call and text histories should there be a visit from party moderates or the old bill.
Users have however complained that the app lacks a fun element and so there are plans to integrate a side-scrolling adventure game that puts them in the shoes (well, paws) of ‘Freddie’, an urban fox as he is pursued by the ‘Marquis of Hellfire Hall’.
Freddie can also be substituted for a member of any chosen minority group.