Recent advances in alternative pharmacology are revolutionizing the world of alternative medicine, according to a paper in the latest issue of Nature.
The University of Nova-Scotia has demonstrated that in laboratory studies phenylephrine hydrochoride can unblock the chakra 37% more efficiently than shiatsu.
Another study, from the University of East Guam, showed that brain samples from rats given 0.5 microgrammes of an aromatic heterocyclic-based dipeptidyl peptidase-4 inhibitor measured up to 23% higher Chi levels than control rats treated with amethyst crystal points.
"Previously, we had to do an awful lot of crystal waving and meditation to help our clients, but now all this can be replaced by a single pill - exciting times!", said a spokesman for the UK's Reiki Healing Association at today's press conference.