The Government’s innovative integrated terrorist plan had been hailed a success following the total destruction of a condemned concrete multi storey car park in Wolverhampton by an alleged jihadist sympathiser.
Designed to allow terrorists to represent their cause explosively, whilst having the targets selected for them, the new scheme has been described as a ‘win, win scenario’ by Home Secretary, Teresa May.
‘For some time we’ve been looking to find a way of channelling the destructive urges of potential terrorists to the good of society and we’re pretty sure that getting them to rid us of ugly municipal monstrosities is the way forward.’
The first ‘attack’ took place at precisely 11.03 yesterday morning, when Imran Huk, wearing a hard hat, hi-viz jacket and safety goggles, carefully pushed a button which set off the charges to raze the sixties eyesore to the ground.
Although full Health and Safety regulations were observed, an element of surprise was permitted with Imran being allowed to choose the exact moment of detonating the high explosive provided that it occurred between 11:00 and 11:05. In future, it is thought that old time IRA sympathisers will be allowed to phone a warning before initiating the blast.
'I enjoyed that,' said Imran, 57, once the dust had settled, ‘I appreciate it wasn’t exactly a suicide attack, but then I’m not exactly a terrorist. To be honest, the only attack I’ve ever been involved in was an asthma attack last spring.’
Hak had been selected for demolition duties following his arrest for shaking his fist and shouting in Urdu at a young shoplifter in his convenience store, which was mistaken for being a terrorist threat. Police have accepted Hak's innocence and have confirmed that no further charges will be brought.