A top level Conservative Party official has claimed that the party faces it's "worst nightmare" after a swivel eyed loon was attacked by an aggressive homosexual.
The official said, "It was our worst nightmare. The swivel eyed loon was just going about his normal swivel-eyed business when he was attacked by an aggressive homosexual. And then without warning the aggressive homosexual was joined by a faun, three dragons, Santa Claus and Pete Townsend's book on paedophilia. It was just horrible because at the end of the attack it turned out that the only one of those things that was real was the swivel eyed loon"