There is growing alarm among the U.K.’s leading pornographers, that children as old as 16 are still to be exposed to basic literacy and numeracy. Research suggests that some students in later years struggle to form coherent strands of logic or to maintain abstract concepts.
Speaking at a conference of Feltchers, one industry expect said: “With modern smart phones and tablets, all children should be able to access educational tools from the earliest age. Only 4% of the internet relates to pornography and yet most teenagers are unable to spend 5 minutes on a search engine without googling the ‘Human centipede’.”
Education should be at least ‘discussed in schools' leading head teachers agree. Under-age Facebook accounts are primarily blamed for children being unable to fully spell “laugh out loud” or “in my opinion”. Pornographers fear that student’s self-image is being undermined by the perception that learning is something “dirty” or “forbidden”. A small percentage of parents feel that students should be home-schooled but this will require parents to interrupt their own on-line dating commitments.
Many pornographic artists blame the mixed message sent out by the Secretary for Education. “Michael Gove repeatedly talks about ‘academic rigor’, ‘a firm and fruity curriculum’ and ‘spanking the arse of complacency’,” complained one Fluffer. “Isn’t he aware of the euphemistic overtones in such rhetoric? ‘Victorian values’ have always been a coded reference to something kinky. In the same way ‘Coalition’ means ‘to get shafted’”