The government revealed today that celebrity style guru Gok Wan will be overseeing the transformation of the fire service in England and Wales.
Mr Wan told reporters today of his plans for a radical overhaul in the way the emergency service will operate in the future, “For far too long its been too much substance over style”, he went on, “The first thing I’m going to change is those drab uniforms, they need something bright and invigorating, which is why I’ve chosen pea green jacket with blue waterproof over trousers. But remember girlfriend Red and Green must never be seen, so all my fire engines are going to change from dull and predictable red to whole host of pastel colours. My final goal is to make those tough firemen feel confident about their bodies, which is why I’ve arranged for them to parade naked through Trafalgar Square to feel good about themselves! “
There have been many doubts as to Mr Wan’s suitability for the role, and many eyebrows have been raise over the procurement of Hose from Anne Summers and replacement of the traditional two tone siren with Earth Wind & Fire’s Boogie Wonderland.