Enraged by Obama's 'incessant bleating about a bit of oil', David Cameron has today announced that the Royal Navy will send a task force to recolonise America.
The Royal Navy bravely set sail across the Atlantic in their remaining half a ship, complete with some paper aeroplanes, to 'return the US to its rightful owners'.
Should the mission fail, Cameron announced his intention to 'wait for the whole US to actually go bankrupt, then swap it for some BP shares.'