The World Health Organization has said it is closely monitoring the spread of James Corden throughout the globe. The Global Alert and Response (GAR) system has already been activated in reaction to Corden becoming GQ's Man of the Year for 2012.
James Kimberley Corden initially infected only obesity gags in the “History Boys” and “Fat Friends”, but more recently he has been found on the Stage and in the TOP 40. “It starts with a nagging sensation that something is not funny, but slowly the senses become deadened,” explained one epidemiologist. “Eventually the whole Central Nervous System spasms, causing involuntary laughter. This spreads from the ventromedial prefrontal cortex to permanently lower the subject’s IQ.”
Novel coronavirus (NCoV) was originally assumed to pass between animals, but there is growing evidence that a mutated Corden-sized pandemic may occur. “Initially cases were limited to the elderly, infirmed or anyone too lazy to switch the channel over. With all his BAFTAs and Tony Awards, Corden seems harmless but be warned, post-infection it is a swift downward spiral,” cautioned a WHO official. “Within hours a patient can find themselves admiring the sitcom skills of Ben Elton or even applauding Miranda.”
Reported deaths by NCoV have been linked to:
• Horne & Corden
• Lesbian Vampire Killers
• And all six series of A League of Their Own
Most at risk are the young and those ignorant of all that is good in comedy. Once exposed to Corden, the patient will find their resistance lowered to all forms of mild and insidious humor. In the final stages the condition is incurable, all that will be left to the patient will be a slow and painful “Mother Brown’s Boys”.